Germany likes nobody.

Germany has a problem. A reputation problem. Thing is, Germans are not likable. In fact in Germany it nowadays is prohibited to like someone or a group. Really, ‘es its verboten’. On FaceBook that is. According to their ‘Datenschutz’ organization in Schleswig-Holstein.’ The suckers.

Being Dutch means that it is socially almost unacceptable to like Germans and for once I’m afraid I fit in the general, albeit strongly biased, opinion about these humorless, shouting, hole in the beach digging, bratwurst eating and beer drinking Bavarians. I don’t like Germany. If there was an ‘unlike’ button on FaceBook I would probably try to perform a mass unlike on al Germans, their companies and their BMW’s, Mercedesses and Opels.

But FaceBook doesn’t have an ‘unlike’ button. Honestly I think it would be the most wanted new feature of FaceBook for as far as I am concerned. FaceBook does however have a ‘like’ button. But it’s not allowed to have that. Or at least German organizations and companies are not allowed to be present on FaceBook with the possibility of being liked. As if that would be possible at all.

Anyhow, In Germany some crazy people in an independent organization working on privacy issues decided that the ‘like’ button on FaceBook is against privacy laws. Because when you press ‘like’ Zuckie (Zuckerberg) and his friends profile you. They store info about the fact that it was you, yes you! that has pressed ‘like’ on that page about the latest trent in pornography and they will notify everyone that you did so. Actually they will call Beate Uhse (if you don’t know who that is, tough luck) and tell her that there is this deviant person that pressed ‘like’ on that porno fan page. So that Beate will be on your very doorstop within days, all hot and willing. With a camera team to make some homemade porn of you. And they will write articles in Bild and the Frankfurter Allgemeine that you, yes you, are working in the porno industry.

To prevent that from happening, the silly Bavarians wants Zuckie to dismantle the like button. Because Germans are not supposed to be able to like anything. Except Dutch beaches in the summer, bratwurst and beer that is. So Germans will, if these silly paranoid people get what they want, never be able to like anything. And to me that is the greatest form of justice. Because why should people who nobody likes be allowed to be able to like others? No let Germany stay this boring country filled with humorless people. They deserve that.

Dr. Thilo Weichert,
Datenschutzbeauftragter des Landes Schleswig-Holstein

This what these people write about it:

Das Unabhängige Landeszentrum für Datenschutz (ULD) fordert alle Stellen in Schleswig-Holstein auf, ihre Fanpages bei Facebook und Social-Plugins wie den „Gefällt mir“-Button auf ihren Webseiten zu entfernen. Nach eingehender technischer und rechtlicher Analyse kommt das ULD zu dem Ergebnis, dass derartige Angebote gegen das Telemediengesetz (TMG) und gegen das Bundesdatenschutzgesetz (BDSG) bzw. das Landesdatenschutzgesetz Schleswig-Holstein (LDSG SH) verstoßen. Bei Nutzung der Facebook-Dienste erfolgt eine Datenweitergabe von Verkehrs- und Inhaltsdaten in die USA und eine qualifizierte Rückmeldung an den Betreiber hinsichtlich der Nutzung des Angebots, die sog. Reichweitenanalyse. Wer einmal bei Facebook war oder ein Plugin genutzt hat, der muss davon ausgehen, dass er von dem Unternehmen zwei Jahre lang getrackt wird. Bei Facebook wird eine umfassende persönliche, bei Mitgliedern sogar eine personifizierte Profilbildung vorgenommen. Diese Abläufe verstoßen gegen deutsches und europäisches Datenschutzrecht. Es erfolgt keine hinreichende Information der betroffenen Nutzerinnen und Nutzer; diesen wird kein Wahlrecht zugestanden; die Formulierungen in den Nutzungsbedingungen und Datenschutzrichtlinien von Facebook genügen nicht annähernd den rechtlichen Anforderungen an gesetzeskonforme Hinweise, an wirksame Datenschutzeinwilligungen und an allgemeine Geschäftsbedingungen.

Of course I really do like Germany and I do value privacy. Of course there is something to say for the ideas of these silly Germans about the privacy aspects of FaceBook’s features. But honestly, isn’t government interference with the possibilities and technology behind social media not getting a little bit out of hand? Is it not safe to say that even some profiling (something every organization or company has been doing for decades to get hold of an audience or group of customers) a perfectly normal thing in this capitalistic and commercialized world? Are there not stronger privacy issues to be taken care of. Shouldn’t German’s not be worried much more about the privacy problems the German government is creating itself?  Like storing phone call and email details and storing location information because that same government just like the Dutch and other European governments doesn’t trust its own citizens anymore? Shouldn’t they worry much more about the fact that Germany is just like other European countries hopping on the bandwagon of big brother style control of its own citizens because someone might be terrorist or criminal?

Of course they should do that but instead of taking on the real privacy issues of a government profiling its own citizens they want to limit technological development in social media. What a joke.

And about that ‘like’ button. I will continue to use it as I personally don’t give a damn that Zuckie’s computers know that I am a transgender lesbian who loves female porn, writes, films, drinks beer sometimes, loves her kids and friends, hate stupid Germans, makes art and writes silly little articles on a website. And yes, if people research on me they will find out all kind of nice (and dirty) little details about me. So what?
By the way, that website of those people… my God, 1984!

Oh, and before I forget: don’t press the like button on this post because I will profile you, really, I will!

Alice © 2011

2 thoughts on “Germany likes nobody.

  1. Natuurlijk, dat is het! Daar is mijn fiets naar toe. Hebben ze dat ding nu ergens in Schleswig-Holstein. Verdammt noch mal!
    Jammer dat is Saffrani gebruik in plaats van Vuurvos.

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