The rabbit hole 2.0.

It’s been rocky since I came back from Nepal. Getting used to life in this neurotic Dutch society isn’t easy after one has lost her heart in the mysterious and enchanting Nepal. But I managed so far. Working on the photo exhibition, which by the way was rather successful, did help me acclimatize.

After only a few weeks back I was overtaken by the financial drain of making movies. I had to leave my house. To prevent forceful eviction I frantically searched for a safe house. With a little help from some friends. And it worked itself out. Some good tips and meeting great folks has turned things around. So last weekend I shifted my stuff from my shelter (because that’s what my ‘old house’ was) to an old city house and a small but decent studio somewhere on the second floor. The house is over a hundred years old and as I understood in the very same room I am living now a character from a novel lived for some years. I share the house you see. With some wonderful people and on my floor a nice girl, gay like me, who has this lovely little dog and a great smile. Life is getting relaxed now.

The rent of the place is less than half of the other house that has been so hostile to me over the years, making life a bit easier for me. It also gives me the opportunity to have my dear sister from Nepal coming over in due time. Anyway, the room is square and high. Exactly what I have wanted for so long. So I decorated it in a style that is so much more me and so different from my old place (and the ones before that). It’s got everything. Old and high windows, old fashioned heating, big white walls that are now covered in record sleeves, dozens of small picture frames and musical instruments. Even the lighting is so much easier here. I made my little temple there and everywhere you look there are traces of me. It’s by far the most individual room I ever had. It even has an annex which is big enough for a sleepover. Next week my bed will arrive. A single bed that can made into a double in a jiffy. Because one never knows.

This house and these rooms, these people and the atmosphere here is so welcoming and friendly that right now I feel totally at home. A sensation that is rather new to me. I had in Nepal, I didn’t have it in the Netherlands in the last ten years. It feels like I’ve arrived. Finally. And now all the other – complicated – affairs can be taken on. Fixing situations that should have been fixed a long time ago but were impossible to fix due to the monthly financial drain hat my old place was for me.

Last night there was the shock of the news of the earthquake in Sikkim and Nepal. So close to my dear friends. After a night and morning long series of attempts to contact them I finally reached my dearest friend there. She’s safe and although life is difficult there, she’s cheerful. And so, after days of work and lots of tension, this evening has become one of the most relaxed evenings since my return from Nepal. I feel safe here, overlooking the old cities rooftops from my window with a tram passing by just around the corner. City life, city sounds. As it should be. I’m there where I am supposed to be. A place where I can create, write, edit my film, design things and think. A place that feels like… the rabbit hole.

Alice © 2011