LDR. Not LBD as in little black dress, the must have wardrobe item for just about every western woman, but LDR as in Long distance Relationship. I never thought I would write this. But I do. Because this is how my life is now. Thing is, when someone falls in love with another person than that is almost always with a person close by. If not permanently then at least temporary as in a holiday love. But at my age, with my past life and my unclear future it certainly not expected to be in that unreasonable but ever so nice state of being in love. And certainly not with someone who now is over 10,000 kilometers away.
A LDR is something with it’s own dynamics. It involves a lot of trust and dedication and it involves special measures to be taken to give that relationship a fair chance. It also involves making an effort. Especially since quite often it’s not only physical distance but also cultural distance and sometimes even religious distance. Or, when things are really complicated all of them.
one side of 10,000 kilometers
the other side of 10,000 kilometers
So now I am learning Nepali on a daily basis, studying Hindu religion and learning much about Nepali culture. The only good thing being that all that started long time before love was in the picture. And to adjust to this new reality I researched a bit on experiences of others. And that certainly proved to be a world on its own. Biggest downside to that is that most info is about long distance hetero relationships and therefore only of very limited value.
Apart from too large phonebills that need to be resolved, finding ways to lessen that burden while not having to be completely dependent on internet because mains power is something not available continuously and internet access for my ‘better half’ is over half an hour walking away, there are issues like texting that won’t work most of the time and physical letters that might very well never ever arrive. It’s a hassle.
the very reason to overcome these 10,000 kilometers
But I live on the easy side because my love has a much more difficult situation to tackle. Culture that’s not always understanding this kind of relationship, practical issues as described earlier, hard work on her farm taking out most of the time of day and issues with the language. So many things against us, so many things to conquer. It often pushes my thoughts in the hopeless department and often I feel saddened by all those practical issues. But then, when that phone call comes through every other day it like my battery is recharged in the shortest possible time. Just chatting away, quickly discussing the important things and spending the rest of the time just talking and listening, strengthening the ties. Then as quickly as imaginable this whole LDR turns into what it really is: just two people loving each other. No matter what.
I guess we’ll be fine, if we’re careful. If we put in the effort to keep talking and listening. If we put in he effort in organizing our lives in a manner that in the end that dream becomes reality. The dream of overcoming these 10,000 kilometers. Permanently. Because I push myself to keep thinking and believing that love in the end wins.
Alice © 2012