In the dark of night the mind wanders.

For my 1250th post I wrote a poem.
It obviously is about the night, the most beautiful and the most horrendous hours.

In the dark of night the mind wanders.

The night called me but I could not reach her
As if a gulf separated my head from sleep.
Like a gaping depth of sunken thoughts
that grind like slowly turning millstones,
forcefully circulating crushing rest.
A concept that my mind seems no to understand
but what my heart foolishly longs for.

And even though the call gains force
the battle to resist her does not weaken.
No matter how tempting, I lack the strength
to surrender the fight and let myself go
without notice and being unnoticed.
Not strong enough to allow tears to flow
or simply just be unwillingly unhappy.

The night, I hate her for her beauty
and like with every lover I ever had
I cannot live with her taunting embrace.
I never answer her, she’s to dangerous,
because if I would, my head would leave me.
My mind would be dimmed and my voice silenced,
not strong enough to give in to eternal desire
to die in a slow and wordless embrace.

It’s a good thing that some wishes
remain as they are:
unchanged
remote
unreal
im – possible
hidden

Alice Anna Verheij © 2012