Living backwards.

I don’t know. I really don’t. Thing is that I have this feeling that I am living life backwards. Growing younger in stead of aging. A bit like Sean Morey wrote a long time ago and being quoted – and misquoted by the likes of George Carlin and Woody Allan. Living backwards as if I become younger. As if youth is returning and I am not coming of age but leaving of age in stead.

alice living backwards

I know by experience that life is a circular thing, it revolves and revolves again. Which means age is just a state of mind, not a reality. I know young people with an age old mind and old people with a juvenile brain. It’s how things are. Every now and then the two meat on common ground when two people find each other and recognize the other one as ‘one of those’ or even ‘one of us’. The old spirits who are truly age-less. These amazing people that seem not to be locked into the age their physical presence prescribes. They’re souls, they’ve circled, they know, they reconize and they do not care for wether the other person is physically older or younger. They are the ones who recognize true age, the age of the heart. I do not believe in re-incarnation because I know, the memory and the experience is simply to vivid not to be understood.

And I guess I’m one of them. I’ve been here before.

I’ve been young and I’ve been old. Now I’m in between the two. I have experiences, I’ve loved and have been loved, fell in love and lost it, been rich and poor, healthy and less healthy. It really doesn’t matter that much anymore. It seems that I’ve past the boundary of ignorance and I’ve loved and hated the journey. But it’s coming to an end because I do know where I am, what I am and why. There’s no need for what other people find important.

By surprise I found that it’s clear now. I don’t mind how things go unless I can be with the ones I love and create whatever my minds tells me to. I am for what it’s worth my art and my art is my life. No boundaries, no consessions, no hustling. I just know I’ll be fine, I’ll just grow younger or maybe even shrink younger. I am opposite.

Anna.