Paradise lost, paradise found, paradise lost again…

Sometimes life just pushes someone to a change of environment. It is not strange that people like me in the west get fed up with the selfishness and the complexity of life in western society. The thing is that money dehumizes people to some extend. In such cases the desire for a simpler, less complicated life in which the basic things like eating, sleeping and understanding that nature and simplicity actually add to life in stead of subtract from it, is not strange.

‘Paradise?’ (photo © 2012 Alice Verheij – Kakani, Nepal)

For some people, the more sensitive and emotionally guided people, the west is not such a good place. Actually same goes for all urban environments likes cities and crowded towns. People like that thrive on the lonelyness of remote areas and the hardship that these areas bring to living. They are the wanderers, the travelers, artists, writers, photographers and filmers. They cannot stay in one place for long. The need change like they need to breath. When life settles down they emotionally die.

I am like that and only in recent years I have allowed myself to truly understand my own nature and my own desire to live a life traveling. I can’t help it. And on travels like that I experience the world difeerent. More positive, albeit sometimes also more dangerous. But my senses are challenged and by that I at last feel that I am alive. And when I feel alive and at the same time be of value to people who are experiencing difficulties, than my life is close to perect. Paradise is then something I will have found, not something I have lost.

Please don’t give me a stable home, please don’t fix me to a spot, please don’t ask me to stay anywhere forever. Because I know that of I would do so I would also lay my head down and breath my last. I would simply not live anymore. I am for all intences and purposes a traveler in search of Paradise. And sometimes I get a glimpse of it. Please let me lose that paradise so I can continue my search for only in the lost paradise I will find it again. It is just how it is, it is the only thing I cannot change in my life: the endless desire to be not here. To go without destination for my paradise is in the journey and nowhere to be found. I am a restless soul not destined to find what it is searching for but to continue searching until my final destination.

Alice © 2012